Grief & Loss

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Grief is usually described in relation to the death of a loved one, but other types of major loss can also lead to feelings of grief. The more significant a loss, the more intense grief may be.

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People may feel grief over:

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• The death of a loved one. Grief can be particularly severe following the death of an infant or child, or a suicide

• Divorce or separation

• Work changes – unemployment, retirement, retrenchment

• The diagnosis of a terminal illness

• The loss of good health due to accident or disability

• Miscarriage or infertility

• Having a child with a disability, a terminal illness, a mental illness or a substance abuse problem

• Moving away or separation from family or friends

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There are many models of grief that can assist counsellors in establishing a reasonable treatment goal for clients finding it difficult to deal with their grief. In my experience, I have found that Worden’s model can be helpful for clients who are finding it difficult to cope and adjust to their loss. Current thinking suggests that Worden’s grief model, can be effective with those experiencing complicated grief reactions such as extreme focus on the loss and reminders of the loved one, intense longing or pining for the deceased and problems accepting the loss. Worden’s model actively involves the client in their mourning process, by giving  them some control over their loss by setting small achievable goals. In addition, Bowens Family Systems model assert that understanding family dynamics is just as important in grief counselling. This means, that each individual’s experience of loss is seen in a context of intergenerational relationship patterns and tension between members and how members are been influenced or influencing each other, can determine the intensity of the grief response.

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 These models provide a framework that may guide the client to understand their emotional response to their loss. However, I am cautious when introducing models into the session that I capture the complexity and diversity of each individual grieving experience. It is important not to try to bring order to a complex process and that the other determinants of grief such as physical, psychological, social and spiritual needs are addressed. 

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As a mental health professional, I adhere to the following when working with clients experiencing grief and loss: 

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• Be cautious not to lean towards simplistic thinking about determinants of grief and mediators of mourning but rather recognise that mourning behaviour is unique to the individual and multi determined meaning there is a combination of societal, individual and family factors which plays a role in the grief process. 

• Respect the individuality of the bereaved person and offer appropriate person centred care and support. 

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